Teen's Table

Hey gang!
This is OUR place, so come on in and visit!

NO ADULTS ALLOWED!
Teens Table is created and maintained by teens. The primary writers and editors are Reyna Lang (age 15) and her friend Michelle (age 16). Of course we'll welcome any help to make this a totally cool place AS LONG AS YOU'RE A TEEN! We talked with some of our friends and agreed that our last attempt was sorta lame. Good thing our mom don't fire us. She says to try again and that we can keep trying till we figure it out! Soooooo, here goes nuthin and feel free to send suggestions to teens@southernpride.com. We need all the help we can get!

Curious? Well, he thought if you took all the silly irritating things in life, and caused them to happen with repitition and intention in a theme park that it could be quite comical! Of course you'd have all the rides, exhibits and everything else associated with a really great theme park, BUT.... we'd be sure to plant plenty of irritations. Then, the question would be.... Will they come?

Look through our partial listing of the zany ideas and feel free to submit more of your own on our very own bulliten board! --- The Teens Board!

A Theme Park featuring on all of the little irritating things found in life.

Parking lot

Spaces are too small

Lots are labeled alphabetically but not in alphabetical order

Elevator music playing constantly all around, repeated elevator music, like perhaps a 30 second clip that will just keep going and going and going

Elevators

Elevator stops automatically at EVERY floor regardless of which button you push

Occasional getting stuck between floors on purpose

Elevator set on special system that jerks a lot and feels like it's having trouble staying on track (Creating the sensation that perhaps it was not wise to get in)

Have clear door so you can watch as the floors pass, elevator never stops right on the floor, sometimes passes the floor and jerkily returns to the right level, or stops before getting to the floor and slowly jerks the rest of the way up

Old man operating the elevator that looks totally incompetent (not really the operator)

Shopping

All souvenir t-shirts are mismarked in the sizes

All change is given in exactly that, change, mostly pennies as available

Clerk counts each coin carefully and with a smile to be sure it's accurate

Bathroom

No bathroom door

Stall door so high that they can see you taking a dump but just can't see your face

Toilet rolls only dispense half blocks at a time causing great effort to get enough to use

Toilet seats set purposely low so you feel like your falling when you sit down

All toilet seats are continually running for a continual flush

Toilet seats also have a secondary water system that occasionally sprays up wetting the unsuspecting user or the seat (with clean water of course but they won't know that)

Toilet seats that auto lift up, but in the ladies bathroom they wouldalways automatically reset to the up position, and in the mans bathroom they would always reset to the down position

Air dispenser and fresheners that smell like farts

The worse it smells the more people will press for fresh air, only to get more fart smell

Floor tiles

Patterned so beautifully then as you get more into the rooms the pattern runs totally amuck making you wonder about the sanity or perhaps sobriety of the person laying the tiles

Walk ways

Fake gum in places you'd put your hand, feeling like some slime left gum all over

Sidewalk covered in freshly chewed gum, bubbles of the gue everywhere

People chewing it in the morning and throwing it down

Next to it gravel walks that will stick to your shoes if you've mistakenly stepped in the gum areas

Fountains with cute water tricks that jump here and there, with the occasional squirt into where the crowd walks instead of over their heads safely

Water drinking fountains, seem to work great, but once you get down to drink a sensor goes off and it squirts up higher into your ear

Food Courts

Pushing things to get catsup in the cups, don't shoot but straight out

Condements would be mislabeled, ie: catsup would be labeled mustard, etc

Fake gum under all tables and chairs

Floors wet all the time, mopper going constantly to make sure, signs always out to be careful of the wet floors

Coke dispenser puts out real syrup every 3^rd glass

Coke dispenser has two different syrups alternating between what really comes out

Drinks are never fully mixed and often more carbonation than soda

Kiddie play area

put your shoes in the boxes and go play, then shoes automatically disappear

Height limit, show a short child on the limit but the entrance tunnel looks like anyone can enter then goes through a one way door and once behind that door only small children can maneuver easily trapping any larger children or adults into crawling on hands and knees till they find the way out

Ball area, looks on the side like the balls are 3 feet deep, but in reality there is a mat in the middle and only a foot of balls, would be a shocker for the person jumping into the balls but not cause harm

Rides

Have a line,

They come to several line choices, you keep choosing the other lines to go, wait, go, wait, and it only eventually takes you back to the beginning of the line

Also, in one of the lines that appear to be the main line, you'd have tons of manikins up front, and perhaps 6 people standing in the back of the line (employees) to give the illusion of a never ending stagnant line so you'd choose one of the other choices in lines but feel that this must be an awesome thing they are waiting for so you go and wait and go and wait and eventually end up where you started

General

Have buttons all around that make horribly irritating sounds with signs saying "Don't Push" - always anywhere people would be waiting in lines

Perhaps even a secondary button saying "PLEASE don't press, smells BAD!"

Big obvious buttons in numerous public places with a sign stating "Horrible, disgusting smell, PLEASE don't push" - and appropriate smells would be dispensed upon pushing the button

Or "Do Not Squeeze this, it stinks real bad!" on some bulbs that produce obnoxious smells.

Doors, have noisy ding ding, ding ding..... every door throughout the park, dinging at every opening and closing

Have someone dressed normally payed to stand in any given crowd or line and begin singing a continually repeating song to themself, something that would encourage the kids to sing along , and do it over and over till all the adults were mentally singing this song in their head whether they wanted to or not: ie: old McDonald or 99 bottles of bear on the wall

A building that looks huge on the outside but on the inside it's only a 10 by 10 room that people have waited to enter only to find themselves pressed into this tight area with hundreds of others working to the outward doors. Lots of interesting things to catch the eye that slowed the first people in so as to build the crowded situation inside